Pre-op, withdrawal and mouse juice..

It’s been an odd week. First I had the bright idea of ignoring all the warnings on the packet and stopping my pain relief. Ho hum. It’s a narcotic and I didn’t want to be addicted… Turns out it’s too late for that. The following few days were no fun at all. Anxiety, fear, insomnia, feeling emotionally unstable, crying all over the place – that’s to name just a few of the withdrawal symptoms I was having. Let’s not forget the pain itself. I felt a lot better when I started the medication again. Alhamdulillah. Feeling like a junkie but I need it to live through each day 😦
At least I’ve realised that I’m not a doctor and the warnings aren’t just there to scare me!

Last Friday, I had my pre-op assessment. This involved height and weight checks (I’m a whole centimetre taller than I thought I was!), blood pressure, MRSA test, blood tests, answering about 50 questions on the state of my health and letting them know that I’m happy to go ahead with surgery inshaAllah.

The blood test was somewhat interesting. The nurse looked at me as though I was a strange species.. I can act pretty strange at times, but I’m sure I look normal! The conversation was a bit odd:

Nurse: Have you ever had a blood transfusion?
Me: Yes
Nurse: A blood TRANSFUSION?
Me: Yes
Nurse: A BLOOD transfusion??
Me: YES. I had three this year!
Nurse: Are you SURE it was a blood transfusion?
Me: Well it looked like blood and it said blood on the bag so I’m assuming it was!

He looked at me as though he was sure I was lying.
Is there something about me which seems to say: this girl loves to lie about receiving blood, you must make sure she’s telling the truth?!

They managed to botch up the MRSA test – something about a missing label – so they phoned me on Monday and asked me to go in again. No thanks, I was already booked in for my last Infliximab (mouse juice) infusion today (Wednesday) so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone.

Alhamdulillah infusion went really, really well. Cannula attempt was successful the first time and I was first in line. Done and dusted in 3 hours. That’s the kind of a appointment I look forward to! I’m going to miss the nurses on the Infusion Unit, they’re so lovely.


I really should have rested when I got home, but I was in the mood for exercise. 45 minutes later, I dragged my weary legs to the table to sit and write this. I’ll probably regret that tonight but for now, it feels good!

Can’t wait for the mouse juice to start working.. I haven’t been having great results recently but I live in hope.

Although I’ve had the assessment, I’m still quite detached from it all. It hasn’t yet hit me properly that I’ll be having the operation next month (inshaAllah). I’ve waited so long and I’ve had to chase the hospital so many times that my mind seems to have tuned it out. Weird.

Finally… Here’s a recent bag design. I love lions but had to go with a different pattern. I did say that I’m no artist! If you have any design ideas, get in touch. I’d love to see them.



6 thoughts on “Pre-op, withdrawal and mouse juice..

  1. Salaam sis, just want to say your doing so well, just hang in there. I have made intention to go hajj this year IA, will remember u in my Duas. May Allah make it easy for you. Pls keep me in your Duas sister that Allah accepts my hajj & gives me tawfiq to fulfil all hajj obligations to the best of my ability. Masalam! Salma.


    • WaAlaykum AsSalam.. JazakAllahu Khairan sis ❤ this past week has been the hardest in recent times. But that's where the most reward lies.
      SubhanAllah that's incredible, May Allah accept your hajj and make it a means of your entry into Jannah! Ameen. I really appreciate your duas, I need them more than ever.


  2. Asalamu alaykum sis,
    I keep coming back to check for your new posts and thought I’d leave a comment. I genuinely admire your strength – reading how you put your trust in Allah swt inspires me and really made me smile. Insha’Allah Allah swt makes it easy for you, He is the best of planners. Although this life may not be perfect, Insha’Allah your hereafter will compensate. Stay strong insha’Allah. I pray for all my Muslim brothers and sisters who are suffering, you are included in that dua
    Iqra x


    • WaAlaykum AsSalam,

      SubhanAllah, I truly appreciate your duas ❤ as Muslims, we know that good and bad is from Allah and only He can alleviate our difficulties. Also that our struggle is never wasted. It makes it easier to cope alhamdulillah.
      If you click on 'follow blog' on the right, it'll send you an email notification whenever I publish a new post 🙂 JazakAllah khair.


  3. Masha Allah… Another lovely blog pist sis. May Allah give you strength and In Shaa Allah your surgery goes well. Keep writing and inspiring others.


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